Crabby Housewife

Thanksgiving Centerpieces

March 25, 2016 November 4, 2015 By Crabby Housewife Leave a Comment

When I was a little girl, we would always go to my Aunt Dean’s house for the holidays. Oh, how I loved to go there. She was one of those women who made you feel welcome and like she’d been waiting for just you to arrive to start the party (she made everyone feel that way). She always had each person’s favorite dessert ready and her house would be decorated beautifully.

There have been few times in my life that I’ve really felt that loved and wanted in an environment and like I could be completely myself and she would love me anyway. Thanksgiving always makes me think of my Aunt Dean and of the holidays. She always had a beautiful centerpiece on her table and so I thought I’d spend a little time sharing some centerpieces I’ve come across lately and loved.

Make These Gorgeous Thanksgiving Centerpieces

Tiered Dessert Centerpiece

This centerpiece is so simple but looks quite elegant. Simply take a dessert tray with three tiers and arrange some pumpkins and gourds on it. You could also weave in some brightly colored fall leaves.

Golden Pumpkins

Sometimes taking something as simple as a pumpkin and changing it a bit can make the most beautiful centerpiece you’ve ever seen. Better Homes and Gardens offers this image of gold painted pumpkins and candle holders to show you just how easy it can be to achieve a look of elegance for your Thanksgiving table.

Roses in Pumpkin

A pumpkin as a base for a rose floral arrangement? Why not? Jenny Steffens proves on her blog just how simple putting together this centerpiece is. Yet, it is so very elegant and beautiful. The key is to use the right colors to get just that perfect fall fresh look. She uses a mix of orange roses and burnt orange mums. If you stick with yellows, deep reds, oranges, and browns, you shouldhave the perfect look.

Hurricane Vases/Candle Holders

Amanda Jane Brown had a simple idea that also turns out to be a gorgeous centerpiece. She took three hurricane bases, filled them halfway up with corn kernels and then set candles inside. She finished the look with a leaf on the outside tied into place with twine. Gather them all on a tray or arrange them however you’d like.

Keep It Simple

My Aunt Dean knew one thing. She knew to keep the little things simple and to focus on the people. Don’t get so caught up in creating the centerpiece that you lose time with those you love. After all, Thanksgiving is all about time with family and remembering what we should truly be thankful for.

Why You Should Never Give a Friend the Cold Shoulder

March 25, 2016 October 16, 2015 By Crabby Housewife Leave a Comment

I had a very good friend all through high school. We spent nearly every day and most weekend events together. While she wasn’t my best friend, she was a very good friend and someone I cared very much about. We ran in the same friend group, and I really liked her as a person. Then, things changed.

The Friendship Ends

She went away to school, broke up with her boyfriend (who was still a friend of ours) and met someone new. We tried to maintain our friendship, but frankly her new boyfriend seemed like an arrogant jerk to me. Although I thought I covered my thoughts of him, maybe I didn’t. Perhaps there were other factors, such as the awkwardness of the break up. Whatever the case and circumstances, she broke off our communication and I never really knew the reasons why.

I wrote her a long letter telling her if I’d done anything I was sorry and how much I cared about her and our friendship and she never responded. I can take a hint, so I dropped it, but I was hurt. I was deeply hurt and couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t at least tell me what I’d done to merit being dropped as a friend without so much as a goodbye.

Looking on the other side of things, I realize there were other factors at play. An ex-boyfriend who still wanted her back, a new boyfriend who she wanted to please, and her propensity to be a people pleaser. Over the years, I would sometimes think about her when looking at old photos or eating somewhere we’d hung out as teens. I was still pretty mad at her. She’d gone against the girl code. She’d chosen a guy over one of her best friends.

Bumping into Her

A few more years passed and I heard she’d gotten married and had a couple of boys. I had two girls and one day was at Kings Island with my family. My husband bumped into her and brought her over, all excited (he forgets any bad thing anyone ever does to him or to me, which is probably a blessing). She stood in front of me and all I could think about was how angry I was at her. I was so mad, girls. I can’t even tell you how angry I was. I had always been a good friend to her. I didn’t deserve the way she’d treated me.

So, I did what us women can be so good at. I gave her that polite, but cold shoulder greeting. The hug that tells her you don’t really want to hug her. The questions that tell her you don’t really care. “Oh, are these your boys?”, “How have you been?” Women know exactly what you are doing when you treat them that way. It is a signal and they know it and so do you.

I was very cool but very polite, because a southern lady must be polite, right? Well, I am here to tell you that I was wrong and that I was about to learn a big life lesson about forgiveness.

I have always struggled with forgiveness. It’s hard for me. I will let a lot of little things go, but if you wound me deeply, I never forget it. It is definitely a weakness of mine and one I have worked on and am still working on. I suspect I will always struggle in this area.

More years went by and I thought to myself a couple of times that she’d deserved the cold shoulder I’d given her. I also felt if she really cared, she would have reached out after seeing how hurt I still was (like she was a mind reader, right?). I pushed away the memories of good times we’d had together, how easy she was to get along with, and what she’d been through that likely led her to cut us out of her life that way. I sort of smugly congratulated myself on being polite but letting her know what I thought of her.

Aren’t I nice a person? You see, I might have been polite on the outside, but inside I was having the ugliest, most hateful thoughts you could imagine.

A Big Lesson for Me

These days, there is a group on Facebook of alumni from high school. You can keep up with what people are doing, see pictures of their kids when you friend them. It’s a lot of fun, right?

It is until your husband tells you that person you so smugly gave the cold shoulder passed away. That the dear friend you shared your deepest secrets with, stayed up all night telling your future dreams, and who always had your back is gone. That she suffered and you never had a chance to even offer the least bit of comfort to her. There is no more chance to make it right. No chance to bump into her and greet her warmly and with love and kindness instead of that smug cold shoulder.

What I would give to go back to that day and throw my arms around her and tell her how glad I was to see her. To have spent a few more minutes talking to her and to have embraced forgiveness instead of bitterness.

Who are you holding a grudge against right now? Who has hurt you and you haven’t forgiven them? Is there someone you need to make things right with? Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Making New Friends – That X Factor

March 25, 2016 August 26, 2015 By Crabby Housewife Leave a Comment

In the last few weeks, I’ve met a number of new people. It got me to thinking about how we choose our friends and the different ways we make new ones. When I think back on my friendships with those closest to me, I can’t really tell you that moment when we realized we were going to be the best of friends. It just happened, it was natural. We “clicked.”

Clicking or Clacking

Have you ever met someone and you instantly like that person? The conversation flows naturally. They don’t have any of those annoying habits that drive you crazy. They have similar world views, attitudes, and behaviors.

I call this “clicking.” These are the friends I can truly be myself around. I don’t worry about whether they like me or not. Our social language is the same, so I already know that they do.

Then, there are the clackers. You meet this personality type and your preference would be to just turn around and walk away from them. For me, there are several things that instantly turn me off.

Extremely loud people for the purpose of grabbing attention. Example – the woman who cackles loudly just as everyone else finishes laughing.
Know it alls. If you’re telling a story about your doctor putting you on a regimen, this person will begin to tell you why your doctor is wrong. After all, she has no degree whatsoever in that field, but still knows more than your doctor who went to school for 12 years or more to get his medical degree.
Me too women. Want to share a story about your last vacation? Don’t worry… Miss Me Too has gone on the same vacation, only hers was ten times better. It doesn’t matter how unusual your story, Miss Me Too has done it, been there, is better than you.
Crass people. While it is perfectly natural for close friends to share personal details of their lives, it is not so natural for someone you met two seconds ago to jump into the conversation and share her personal sexual history with you. I’m sorry, but that is just weird.

These are the things that clack for me. Yours may be completely different.

The Bottom Line

Cultivating friendships takes times. I like a lot of people, but I don’t click with them all. If I’m going to take time away from my family and my writing and my home, then it is going to be for a friend I click well with.

Food Is…

August 13, 2016 August 13, 2015 By Crabby Housewife Leave a Comment

I don’t know about you, but some of my very best memories growing up involve food in some way. That may be why I constantly battle between my desire to be trim and my love of food (food usually wins).

When I was little, we would often go visit my mother’s family in West Virginia. All the aunts and uncles, grandparents, extended cousins, and a few friends would gather around huge tables of food and have a reunion every year.

We would then traipse up into Mulberry Holler to see the old site of where the home once stood and visit a graveyard on top of a mountain where my mother’s father is buried and a myriad of other ancestors.

At the end of the holler was the treat I always looked forward to. Down a meadow, across a small creek, there sat a little house with a long front porch. It was a fairly simple house, but the treat was that all the cousins would gather and play and Aunt Eula would be waiting to greet you with a smile, a hug and some treat she’d cooked.

I can remember the women gathering around the kitchen table to catch up on gossip and share coffee and food.

Think about it, we mark weddings with a buffet and cake. We mark funerals with an after-dinner. We celebrate holidays with big meals and gatherings.

Nearly every happy childhood memory somehow involves food, from visiting the local fair to going to a school basketball game and munching on nachos.

Food can also bring together different nations and help you make new friends. Even bad food can bring us together as we complain and commiserate about food that isn’t up to our standards.

When you gather with friends, isn’t it often for snacks or a meal together?

Food is the thing that seems to bind us all together. Every living being must get nourishment in some way.

A warm, gooey grilled cheese lets a heartbroken child know she is loved and Mom will always be there to cook her another one.

A cake on our birthdays tells us that someone cared enough to bake it or at least pick one out. It makes us feel special.

There are some comfort foods that can cheer us up just from their smell. Homemade biscuits reminds me of lazy Saturday mornings at one of my favorite aunts’ houses. She’d always make from scratch biscuits and a huge spread of food for us.

Food is the backdrop to our daily lives in so many ways. Food tells us we are loved, we are important, we all have something in common.

So, what is the food that does it for you? What is the one thing that you simply must have to cheer up, for your birthday, or at other times?

For me, when I am ill, I just want someone to bring me a bowl of orange sherbet, because my dad would always go get that for me when I was sick as a child. It makes me feel loved. What is yours?

Save Money on Back to School Shopping

March 25, 2016 August 5, 2015 By Crabby Housewife Leave a Comment

Hello Crabby Shoppers,

It is that time of year again. School supplies start to go on sale and as you look over the list of items your child needs for school you start to panic. iPad, 1,000 boxes of tissues, spa gift cards for the school staff… wait that might be my dream list back from my teaching days. Anyway, even with items such as folders, pencils, binders and notebooks, the cost of school supplies can really add up.

One thing I do every year that saves our family hundreds of dollars is to shop the sales. Even though my girls are both now in college as of this year, they still need notebooks, pens and your typical school supplies. It’s just a little easier, because they do get to decide what they’ll buy and they carry their own tissues now.

If you don’t already get the Sunday paper, now would be a good time to start picking one up on Sundays. However, you can also get by with hunting the ads down online if you prefer. It is just more time consuming.

Every store out there has what is called “loss leaders.” These are one or two deeply discounted items that are used to pull you into their store so you will buy all your other school supplies. You’re going to outsmart the stores, though. You’re going to shop ONLY the loss leaders for now.

So, let’s say that this week, erasers are .25 a package at Target, paper is .50 a package at Staples and folders are 10 for $1.00 at Office Depot. Those are the only three things you will buy this week.

Next week, there might be pens on sale for .50 a package, notebooks for .25 each and so on. Yes, this method takes a bit more time, because you have to keep your checklist handy from the school and check off items as you go, but you will save a bundle. Just before school starts, head to the dollar store to finish off your list. If you absolutely MUST pay full price for something, Walmart and Target usually have the best prices on school supplies, but you may just wind up getting everything on sale.

Stock Up For Later

It never fails. Two weeks into the school year, a teacher decides your child suddenly needs another binder, notebook, your child loses her box of crayons, or every pencil you own disappears to the land of lost pencils.

When the items you know your child will use often go on sale, stock up. Keep a school supply drawer or closet just for this. Some items that your child likely needs every year, so if you have extras you can just push into the next year include:

Folders
Pencils
Notebooks
Paper
Pens
Erasers
Scissors (they always get lost, don’t they?)
Calculator (I’ve seen small ones go on sale for $1.00 each)
Binders
Crayons
Colored Pencils
Markers
Poster Board (yes, keep at least two on hand at all times for projects, but they are cheap at dollar store every day)

Give Back

If you’ve saved a ton of money on school supplies, take a few dollars and buy some extra supplies to give to the teacher. Most teachers love their students. If one doesn’t have what he needs to learn, she will go out and spend money out of her own pocket to buy these items.

Trust me that there is nothing more thoughtful to a teacher than a small basket (pick one up inexpensively at the dollar store) filled with extra boxes of crayons, pencils, erasers and paper. This saves her money and helps her students have the tools they need to learn. If you’ve picked up extras while they were on sale, this gift basket will cost you very little to share.

Have fun, enjoy the days of summer left with your kiddos still at home and happy shopping.

Frugal Recipes & Tips

Category: Lifestyle