What Will I Do With All This Money?

woman shopping

Teen dresses for dances aren't always easy to find.

About once a month or so, I get a letter telling me about the amazing riches that are sure to be mine. I can spend my life shopping now, right? Puhlease!

I always stop and wonder who falls for this type of scam? Unfortunately, some people are taken in because of inexperience with the Internet or scams. So, I thought I’d entertain us all and add a little commentary to the letter I received. Since it was in MY inbox, I claim the right to post it here for the world to see. Spammers, you can deal with it.

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Letter that arrived in my mailbox on Monday morning, August 1st, 2011 (my comments in bolded red):

From: Director Project Implementation Wow! Big, important sounding title. He implements projects. Oooh la la.
South African Anglo Gold Corporation. A gold corporation? They must have money.
Mr. Antonio. L. Savimbi Mr. Savimbi has a full name and a middle initial. I wonder if the “L” stands for lame?
Email mrantonsavj@gmail.com A Gmail address? Why not a company address? Hmmm.
Tell – +27 71 003 7065 Wonder how much it would cost to call that fake number?

Good Day! You’re about to tell me I’m getting money. Whoo!

I am Mr. Antonio. L. Savimbi, Director Project Implementation with South African Anglo-Gold Corporation in Johannesburg and a member of the Contract Tenders Board (CTB) of the above corporation Official sounding and proper grammar. Your esteemed address I have an esteemed e-mail address. I’m important. was reliably introduced to me from the South African Chamber of Commerce and Industry Wonder how they got my e-mail? in my search for a reliable, individual/company So, they have my e-mail, but they don’t know if I’m an individual or company? Odd. who can handle a strictly confidential transaction, which involves the transfer of a reasonable sum of money to a foreign account.
The amount of money involved is US$35,000,000.00 (THIRTY FIVE MILLION, UNITED STATES DOLLARS). Yowza! This money has already been extracted from various contracts awarded by this corporation, as a result of over-invoicing masterminded by the concerned officials involved, this has been drafted to represent the final payment for a contract that has been executed to this corporation some years back, the money is now floating in the suspense account of the Reserve Bank of South Africa awaiting claim by any foreign partner which status we now want you to resume. How can I resume something I never took up in the first place?
Now is the optimum period to consummate this fund, following the presidential directive President of what, the World Scam Artists Association? to all parastatal Free Dictionary.com definition: Owned or controlled wholly or partly by the government: a parastatal mining corporation. to settle all outstanding debts owed to both local and foreign contractors? He has a question mark here, so me must not be sure if this is a statement or a question.
In my last meeting with the Officials involved He’s meeting with “officials”, so he must be important. Right? , it was unanimously agreed that 30% of the total sum will be given to you So… they voted to give me 30%, but they don’t know my name or whether I am a company or individual. How generous of them. , 60% will be for us while 10% will be use TYPO! to reimburse the expenses that will be incurred in the processing of this transfer. Oh, I having a feeling the expenses incurred will be quite interesting.
I assure you that this transaction is 100% risk free And, of course, I can trust you 100%, can’t I? as we have concluded every arrangement to protect the interest of everyone involved, Likewise all modalities for the successful transfer of this fund have been worked out with Ministry of finance and the Reserve Bank of South Africa to facilitate the remittance of this fund to your designated account within 72 hours after your claim has been approved. Or within 72 hours after you’ve run as far and as fast as you can with my money you steal from me, whichever comes first, right?
However, I would want to believe that you are honest enough and will not raise any misgiving attitude in any aspect of the transaction How is my honesty at question because I have misgivings about someone who contacted me without knowing my name and whom I have no knowledge of? Seriously? I have misgivings about people I’ve known for years when it comes to finances. , more importantly, that you will keep this transaction very confidential so as not to tarnish the confidence reposed on these officials by the Government of South Africa. Yes, for example, please don’t forward this letter to the FBI or anyone who might be interested in tracking us down and arresting us. Is this blog confidential enough? I sure hope I haven’t messed up getting my 30% of nothing. If this proposal is of interest to you, then kindly contact me with above information’s immediately. Since the information is so “possessive”, I’m not sure a relationship with the two of us will work out. I really like my freedom.
You full name, direct telephone number, country, nationality, age. Wait! Didn’t the South African Chamber of Commerce and Industry have this on file? I mean, they had my e-mail supposedly.
Please treat this information as confidential. Oops!
Best Regards,
Mr. Antonio. L. Savimbi
Director Project Implementation.
South African Anglo Gold Corporation

Resources

I know my readers are savvy and you already know to avoid scams like this. Please tell others you know, particularly those who are not familiar with Internet spam. Here are some resources:

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Crabby Housewife

Crabby Housewife

Lori is a full-time housewife and writer, living in the Midwest with her husband of 27 years - they have two daughters. They have a house full of pets and her house is never quite perfect.